What Does It Mean If I Am Hearing Voices?

All day today I have been hearing voices. Not the clear, strong voices of my co-workers on the phone or chatting with each other about in inconsequential. But when the sounds of the office die down and all is quiet I hear whispers and mumbles coming from somewhere behind me. It sounds like someone has a TV on low volume or, better yet, like that scene in Harry Potter where he could hear the dead people behind the archway. Yeah, that is what I am hearing. Dead people from a Harry Potter movie.

I did a little walk around my department, trying to find the source of the voices but couldn’t find anything. No radios or TVs or iPods. None of our computers have speakers so I knew it wasn’t that. Which pretty much leaves only one rational explanation:

On this, the 29th of January 2009 I have finally lost it.

Most cubicle dwellers know this day will come. It is inevitable. You spend enough time enclosed in way too close proximity to this much fluorescent lighting and bad coffee and BAM! You are guaranteed to go a bit bibily eventually. I just thought I had more time. I’ve only been working in an office for less than three years. Hell I made it through nine years at a butcher shop and never developed the homicidal instincts that come with that profession.

I’m afraid to mention it to my co-workers, the fact that I am hearing voices. I’m pretty sure they already think I am a bit dodgy and I don’t need to give them additional proof.

~The Office Scribe