I was at my desk for exactly 4 minutes before the printer decided to cause problems this morning. I think that has to be a record.
Zero calorie salad dressing is alright for something that has zero calories and 40 ingredients I can't pronounce.
A new employee is sitting with me on Wednesday so I can explain my job to them. My fear is that I'll be judged by the random stuff I have at my desk. I mean, seriously, what does it say about me that I have a Pope snow globe, baby Darth Vader, and one of the aliens from the Toy Story movie amongst my files?
If what I am currently doing for a living doesn't work out, I think I want to mentor troubled actors. I could do so much good for the Charlie Sheens and Lindsay Lohans of the world by smacking them upside the head and locking them in a cellar until they realize what lucky bastards they really are and to stop messing everything up because the common man has NO patience or sympathy for wasting talent and or money on coke and hookers.
Cubicles need doorbells.
These 5 Hour Energy ads make it look like making a pot of coffee and drinking a cup to be the hardest tasks in the world. I hate to think what they would do to something a tad more complicated, like driving a car or brain surgery.
~ The Office Scribe
Sunburns, hang ups, and paper mouths
1 month ago