Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Solo Rolo

It's been a busy couple of weeks at work.  And it is common knowledge that there are 3 ways to get through busy times at work:

- Come in early
- Stay late
- Eat chocolate

The first two are done so you can get everything done that needs to be done.

The third item on the list is to cope with being so busy that by the time you leave work you are too tired to go grocery shopping and therefore eat chocolate for lunch instead of something more food-like.

I have the best candy dish in the world.  It is made from a plastic shoe box and actually hangs off the side of my cubicle.  It normally has a huge stash of quality goods - mini Snickers, Starbursts, Heath Bars, etc.

Today, one of my coworkers approached the box, looked into it and said "Wow.  Two Rolos.  That's sad."

And then she took one.

Leaving The Solo Rolo.

I guess that means I need to go to Target and stock up.

Of course, donations are always accepted.

~ The Office Scribe

P.S. - while searching for a pic of a Rolo I stumbled across silver and gold plated Rolos.  Um, I don't get it.  Could someone please explain?

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Through The Looking Glass

Wait, what does is it today?

Did I fall asleep on Monday night and wake up on Friday?

Let's see...

I woke up this morning and put on jeans.  Then I went to Starbucks and got an Iced Venti Quad Non Fat Latte.  Then I strolled into work without a care in the world.

Yep, it must be Friday.

Either that or my office had a dose of awesomeness yesterday when the declared today "Casual Tuesday"!!!

That's right.  The Powers That Be determined that, for no reason other than they thought we could use one, gave us a mid-week Slop Day.

And yes, it was as awesome as you think it was.

~ The Office Scribe

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Take That Cyber Monday

They say that the day with the lowest production at work is the Monday after Thanksgiving.  They call it Cyber Monday and it's reported that companies lose lots of money because their workers aren't actually working but are shopping for Christmas deals online.

Well, I think last Friday gave Cyber Monday a run for its money.


Because the brain trust over at Google decided to celebrate the 30th anniversary of PacMan with a Doodle in it's honor.  But unlike the other Doodles Google frequently posts, this one was actually playable.

That's right, you could play a little version of PacMan.

I can't help but wonder how many people sat at their desks last Friday playing this game because they just couldn't handle work anymore.

I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

~ The Office Scribe

Monday, May 17, 2010

Manic Monday #29

High fives all around to everyone who guessed "C" in the poll last week.  Chances are, whenever you ask me a question, my answer is going to contain a reference to a film and/or television show.

I don't feel sick or anything, but I felt feverish.  So the only logical conclusion I could some to was that for about 4-5 hours today I was on the brink of spontaneously combusting.  I told a co-worker if they saw a blinding flash followed by the smell of burnt hair to not panic and simply call a tabloid so someone could make some money off my crispy self.

Like many Monday mornings, I drove straight in from my mom's house. But since every single major road in northern Illinois is under construction, I took a lot of the back roads.  And I learned something about these back roads - they like to hide their Starbucks.  How can I possibly get a latte if you put your signs behind trees or tuck yourselves in the corners of strip malls?  Hell, I was almost to my office before I found one I could see before I passed it.

Kudos to the coworker who brought in the kolachkys today.  And thank you for bringing my in my favorite flavor - red.

The greatest invention on Monday mornings is the button on your phone labeled "Make Busy".  That way, you can trick people into thinking you aren't there are you process all the messages and e-mails that came in over the weekend. (Which also proves no one takes weekends off anymore.)

~ The Office Scribe

Thursday, May 13, 2010

A Test To See How Well You Know Me

Yesterday a coworker posed the following question:

What do you guys think of using long term parking at O'Hare?

From the below responses, see if you can guess which was mine:

A) It's okay but cheaper if you don't use one of the lots at O'Hare but one of the ones down the road.

B) I've never used it.  I take cabs or make people drive me.

C) Have you ever see Fargo?  I wouldn't recommend it.

Kudos to the people who get it right.  You are true followers indeed.

~ The Office Scribe

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Guitar Hero For Yoga

I am not a fan of working out.  I used to run, but ever since I blew out my knee on a trampoline when I was 18, I can't do that anymore.  And I can't fit my elliptical in my apartment so it sits, collecting dust in my moms basement.  So aside from walking around my neighborhood the most physical I get is doing lawn work (see my post from last Tuesday) and doing yoga.

I am not a conventional yoga person.  I don't have cute outfits and I can't name the postures.  I wear sweats and I made a damn good attempt to mimic the positions the overly calm woman on TV does.  And it works.

But what kills me is the music.  Or lack thereof.

For instance, work is kinda hellish right now.  Why?  People are all going on vacations and work related trips (more on that tomorrow) and when I come home, I need to unwind.  And since I still haven't built up my tolerance to alcohol (thanks Lent!) I am staying away from the hooch.

So that leaves two things which calm me down - yoga and classic rock.

There is a niche out there for anyone looking to fill it (get your mind out of the gutters you pervs).

Seriously, I have made my own Classic Rock playlist which I play over my muted yoga routine and it is so much more relaxing than listening to wind chimes or coyotes howling in desert canyons.

For those of you who need a way to decompress after a long work day, here is my Yoga Classic Rock* playlist if you want to join in:

1) Dream On - Aerosmith
2) The Saints Are Coming - The Skids
3) Run Through The Jungle - Creedence Clearwater Revival
4) Slowride - Foghat
5) Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
6) Pinball Wizard - The Who
7) Joy to the World  - Three Dog Night (first concert I ever went to.  I was 7 and with my grandparents)
8) Hotel California - The Eagles
9) One Is The Loneliest Number - Three Dog Night (What?  I like them!)

Does anyone have suggestions?  I am always looking for ways to improve my routine.

~ The Office Scribe

* I know I am a little loose with my def of "Classic Rock" but old is old to me.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Manic Monday (Tuesday) - The "Out of the Office" Edition

So I wasn't at work yesterday.  And I wasn't at work today.  See, being the awesome child that I am, I took a few days off to come up to my mom's place (she lives on a lake) and help her get the house ready for the summer.  Sure, this may seem like a nice gesture, but I figure if I sacrafice one looonnngg weekend at the start of boating season, then I can kick back and relax the rest of the summer. (Sadly, this rarely ever actually works - think about it, grass doesn't stop growing just because you mowed it once!)

If it was legal in the US to marry an inanimate object, I would have run away to Vegas this weekend with my power washer.  Yesterday I washed everthing that wasn't nailed down (and somethings, like the deck, which were).  And since my dog needed a bath, I thought about using it on him, but chances are the ASPCA wouldn't have agreed with that tactic.

There is a reason why your garden doesn't look as nice as my mom's - You don't have a daughter who at the ripe old age of 28 still enjoys playing in dirt.  So quit trying to out-do us.  It ain't going to happen.

The braintrust that Home Depot obtains their employees from must be drying up.  It took three guys about 20 minutes to figure out how to get my new grill into the back of a Chevy Tahoe.  Granted, it's a pretty big grill, but you would have thought they were attempting to shove a casket into a Miata.  (Strange visual - yeah, but I went there.)

The main reason I came up to my mom's this weekend was because our pontoon boat was going to be put in the lake.  Guess what, it didn't happen because they can't get it to start.  I knew I was super smart when I spent my 8th grade graduation money on a canoe.

My mom won the Mother of the Year Award because while I was washing off the 6 lbs of dirt from gardening in her amazing shower (waterfall shower heads will change you as a person) she brought me a beer.  I don't know if you have ever had the joy of drinking a cold beer in the shower after a hard day of working outside, but it is as close to heaven as I have ever come.  Seriously, try it sometime and report back.

Well, I am back in the office tomorrow, so we shall see what amazing things I missed while I was gone... like what new type of chips have been put in the vending machine.

~ The Office Scribe