And no, I am not talking about cocaine. That is so 1984 of you to think so though.
Chicago is due to be hit with another blast of snow today. I believe the word that the weather guys keep tossing about it blizzard. You know those horrific storms that sent settlers on the plains running to their cabins and then after the thaw other settlers would come upon their semi-decomposed bodies and see that they had run out of fire wood and frozen to death along with their precise moonshine? And yes, I did read all of the “Little House” books.
My concern is not the blizzard or the fact that tomorrow night is supposed to be -3 F. My concern is what is going to happen with all the snow in the parking lots at my apartment building and here at work.
After it snows there are plows and trucks that push the snow up to incredible heights around the perimeter of the parking lot. It is starting to feel like we are being corralled into some amazing snow fort. I am just waiting for the complex next store to start lobbing giant snowballs over the wall at us in the most cataclysmic of all snowball fights. But aside from my irrational fantasy, I am getting worried about where they will put the snow for the rest of the winter. Here it is, only the 12th of January and we have already seemed to have more snow that we can handle.
I just went and looked out the window of my office building and tried to figure out where they could push all of the snow that is going to fall tonight and I can’t come up with an solution. From what I can see the giant piles (haha) are taking up about 12 parking spaces. If the rate at which snow falls keeps up this pace I think we might not have a place to park within three weeks. (I used some complex formula to come up with this. You know, like v-x over 3y = I failed Algebra II.)
So if we run out of parking spaces, and using a snow mobile to get to work isn’t an option, what are we to do? How can my company expect me to come to work when I can’t park my car anywhere?
I think this is winter’s way of saying we need a few days off.
~The Office Scribe
Sunburns, hang ups, and paper mouths
2 months ago