Toilet Roulette

In my previous post I explained how I hate running into people I don’t know in the bathroom but I am starting to think that perhaps that is okay. As much as I want to get to know all my co-workers there is something eerie about running into the people who sit around you as you enter/exit the bathroom. The middle schooler in me can’t help but jump into the gutter and think all of those, um, natural thoughts about my co-workers bathroom habits.

But the worst part of running into a co-worker as you enter the bathroom, aside from the inane questions like “How are you doing?” (Answer: Fine, I have to pee.) or the awkward glances that are exchanged when no prattle can be thought of is the following:

Can I pick the stall that the co-worker was not just using?

It’s like the most intense game of roulette that can be played sans gun. Or better yet, like “Let’s Make A Deal” with their famous three doors. Except that the ladies room on my floor has about nine stalls so it is even more of a crap shoot. (Pardon my pun. Wait, on second thought, don’t. I did that on purpose.)

The really creepy part is the only way you can tell if you have lost, aka a co-worker just used that stall, is if the seat is warm. To me possibly one of the most cringe-inducing feelings of all times. I just threw up a bit in my mouth even typing that and now I am covered in goose bumps.

Though I have discovered that the best way to prevent this from happening is to always use the last stall, which I don’t think is handicap accessible so apparently if you are on the third floor, in a wheel chair, and have to pee you are screwed. But I digress. I have found that most of the females in my office don’t have the patience to walk that extra 10 feel to the last stall, making it consistently underutilized and therefore rarely having a warm seat.

Consider this your tip for the day.

~The Office Scribe