Monday, January 5, 2009

How Very Droll


It’s the first full week back from all the holidays and you would think that seeing as how many of my co-workers haven’t been in the office in a few weeks there would be a certain amount of madness going on as everyone catches up from what they missed. I am sure this would be the scenario if our economy wasn’t in the crapper, but seeing how it is, my office is quiet. Too quiet. Too boring.

So I have taken it upon myself figure out a way to keep myself occupied. It is one of the many talents that were developed from being an only child. Actually, it might be the only talent that came from being an only child. Unless getting out of a parental predicament when there was no one else to shove blame on can be counted as a talent… (Note: It didn’t work too often. The dogs can only be blamed for not turning the lights off so many times.)

My goal today was to work on my various and assorted writings. Sure, this wouldn’t necessarily make me a better employee seeing as how if I actually finish my novel/script/TV show concept and sell it I am out of this office faster than an LA freeway chase, or does it? As it turns out, while looking up stuff for my story I stumbled upon an oft forgotten function of Microsoft Word, the thesaurus. And while it sounds like a cast off from Isla Nublar the thesaurus is an amazing tool for anyone who writes anything for their job. It can turn an ordinary e-mail to a co-worker from a blah memo to a stunning piece of literature all while making you seem smarter and thus better than all of them.

I mean, why use the word “job” when you can use “occupation”, “appointment”, or “duty”. Or how about you turn that “question” into a “query”? And don’t take a “bathroom” break. Step away from your desk to visit the “lavatory”.

See, any normal mundane sentence can be transformed into poetic prose that will stun and delight those around you.

Consider this you helpful tip of the day.

~The Office Scribe

1 comment:

Navarre said...

Jurassic Park references FTW!