Extreme Employee

Remember that group of extreme sports guys who were all amped up on Mtn Dew and Doritos that they made life hell for Harold and Kumar while they were trying to find a White Castle? Well if my office parking lot is any indication then those dudes work somewhere in my building.




I first noticed the banana yellow Toyota FJ Cruiser about a month ago.


Though it wasn’t the color that made it stand out (shocking, I know) No, that honor went to the two neon-colored kayaks securely strapped to the roof. In Chicago. In 30 degree weather. In the snow.

Recently the kayaks were replaced with a couple of sweet mountain bikes.

Oh, and I noticed, welded to the spare tire frame a metal box, painted in the same noxious yellow color, complete with bottle opener. It made me really want to know what these awesome extreme sport enthusiast living in the Midwest could possibly have in the magic yellow box.

The thing that really gets me is why is this mystery person hauling all of this equipment around with them? Do they kayak in the decorative pond with fountain located next to the building? Do they do some biking on their lunch hour on the frontage road that flanks a major highway?

Or do they possibly just think it makes them look edgy and trendy by showing up at their corporate job with a truck full of toys but really makes them look like giant tools?

I’m going with the latter.

~The Office Scribe

(And before your judge I will tell you, yes, I drive a POS Kia Sportage which I am getting rid of in the fall. If you would like to contribute to The Office Scribe's New Car Fund I'll let you know where you can send the check, or brown paper bag full of unmarked bills, to.)