Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Black Is the New DB*

According to Wikipedia, the term blacklist refers to a list or register of persons who, for one reason or another, are being denied a particular privilege, service, mobility, access or recognition.

Anyone who has ever studied 20th century American history (and didn’t fall asleep during class) remembers celebrities and people of note being blacklisted in the 1940’s for possibly being Communists.

We actually have a blacklist here at work for clients. Can you imagine what it must be like to be blacklisted? And not because of your radical political or religious views, but because you are such a righteous pain in the ass that every single salesperson in the company refuses to work with you. That’s over 30 people who flat out decline to accept your multi-thousand dollar sale because you are a complete jag.

And I don’t think it is easy to get on this list. We deal with a lot of high maintenance people that need to be coddled more than a colicky infant. We hold their hands (not physically) and walk them through e-mails step by step. We explain everything which a normal person could figure out by using something called common sense. But it just comes to a point where enough is enough and your money is no longer good here.

I’ve never done this process myself but apparently a note is made on some secret (okay maybe I just can never find it) section on someone profile and like that *poof* they are dead to this company. How awesome is that?

I am never sure how a person is informed of their blacklist status but I like to imagine that one day their door bell rings and a barbershop quartet is standing there, singing a jaunty and harmonized tune about how horrible of a person they are and how they should be ashamed that they are the way they are. And then I want then barbershop quartet to track down the blacklisted clients parents and tell them what a crappy job they did of raising their children. Should their parents no longer be around a giant erected on the client’s front lawn should suffice.


Sorry, my imagination seemed to run away with me.

But it makes me wonder what other companies have lists like this. Like one day will I be denied my latte at Starbucks because I always complain about the temperature of the milk?

Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned here…

~ The Office Scribe

* Notice I did not type out what “DB” stands for. I like to keep my posts somewhat clean. And if you can’t figure out what it means, ask any 15 year old. I am sure they will be able to define it for you.

5 comments:

Lis said...

Wow TWO posts in a row with a reference to Disney World. I am impressed.

Dan Shea said...

DB - Dumpster Baby?

shopgirl101 said...

I used to work at a salon and in the phone room there was a "Blacklisted" client list hanging up and no one was allowed to book an appointment if that client called. I never asked, but I always wondered what the hell the clients had done to make it on that list.

unfinishedrambler said...

My wife used to work for a company similar in size to yours and I think they probably had a blacklist. I like how your imagination ran away with you, let it roll :).

unfinishedrambler said...

My wife used to work for a company similar in size to yours and I think they probably had a blacklist. I like how your imagination ran away with you, let it roll :).