Well, it’s official – The past week and a half have sucked harder than a Hoover on shag carpeting. Everyone I talk to, from co-workers to old friends, seem to be caught in some whirling tornado of chaos that is driving them mad.
So in honor of the earth being off its axis (and my friend Maggie for using the phrase “cluster f%#@” in an e-mail to me) I have decided to have the First Annual Cluster F%#@ Competition.
The rules are simple: In the comments section tell me why the past 10-14 days of your life have been hell on earth. The winner won’t actually be the person who submits the most pathetically depressing story, but those of us who can sigh at the realization that someone out there has a life in a deeper bit is crap than our own.
And let me just tell you there is already some stiff competition out there; from relatives dealing with inept mortgage brokers, friends having witnessed the aftermath of someone who thought they could fly off the 40th floor of the Civic Opera House, to co-workers threatening to drink themselves into an early grave if it will stop the procession of idiots they deal with on a daily basis.
I’d say things can only get better from here but I’d probably be cursing myself and all of humanity with a dumb statement like that. So I’ll save us the impending Armageddon and keep my mouth shut.
~The Office Scribe
Sunburns, hang ups, and paper mouths
2 months ago