You’ve seen them on sale at museum gift shops and on eBay. In the movie “After Hours” one of the characters made them in the shape of a bagel. They are pretty and nice and nowadays serve absolutely no point what so ever.
I give you: The Paperweight
I give you: The Paperweight
Like a crystal ball it beckons you to purchase it at the swap meet or yard sale. You think “how fantastic, this would add a touch of class to my otherwise un-noteworthy cubicle”. But stop and think for a moment.
Back in olden times, when buildings were drafty and windows were always open due to a lack of modern temperature control, people needed paperweights. If they didn’t use the glass orb with a flower inside or the brass bulldog then their papers would go flying all over the place and a day’s with of productivity would be lost.
Nowadays though they are nothing more than dust collecting tchotchkes.
But I wish I had one today. Actually, I wish I had two of them.
Why?
Because it is currently 83 degrees in Chicago right now and I am stuck in an office building with windows that don’t open. And it sucks.
So I want one to chuck through the nearest windows and one to put on the stack of papers on my desk to keep them from blowing away when the sweet, sweet spring air drifts in and makes me content with life.
Vandalism in the name of fresh air it totally justifiable.
~The Office Scribe
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2 comments:
I'm amazed they are even still making paperweights. Really, who buys them?
Remember when windows in office buildings used to open? Yeah, me neither. There's a whole bit about windows that don't open in one of the Douglas Adams books. I can't remember how it goes, but it's HILARIOUS.
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