Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Google – Just When I Thought You Could Do No Wrong

It is my last day of work this week, seeing as how tomorrow is Christmas Eve and all, but instead of it being a festive, carefree day where I could red my favorite blogs and find out what Lindsay Lohan did last night, I am actually crazy as hell and don’t know if I will get everything done that needs to be done before I come back next Monday. (So why am I taking time to write a bog entry? Because. That is the only reason my father taught me I ever needed to give.)

Ever since I came into the office at 10:00AM my desk has been a jumble of papers. I’ve had complicated tour proposals where I’ve had to decipher what my counterparts in New Zealand are saying. Brazil is sending me air schedules that make no sense. And I need pictures of all kinds of crazy stuff that clients are going to be doing. So in my moment of crisis I turn to the one trusted source that has never let me down in the past; GOOGLE.

Ask anyone in this office and they will tell you that I am addicted to the Google search engine. If someone asks me a question before they are even done asking I am typing into the magic little box on the main Google page and generally have an answer for them within seconds. Need a picture of a Mongolian Heardsmen? Head to Google. I even use Google to prep for Tuesday Night Pub Trivia.

But today is a dark day. (And not just because the sun has been blotted out by Chicago’s ever-present snow clouds…) It is dark because Google has finally let me down. All I needed was some information on the Black Range in New Zealand. Just a small blub or description of what someone might see if they were to take a helicopter and spend some time hiking there.

I spent 20 minutes looking for information and all I could find were the geographical co-ordinates in case I wanted to plug it into my non-existent GPS system. I felt lost and confused, like the world wasn’t in order. How could my beloved Google let me down? It was supposed to know everything. I thought it must be a fluke, but then I noticed this little gem on the main page.

Google is always making up cutesy little images that say “Google” but where the “o”s are chocolate chip cookies or the “g” is a snake. Very common thing, especially on a holiday. But I saw this and was very confused. Christmas Eve is tomorrow but instead of having ornaments or pine trees we have an old man and his ward working away in what I can only assume is some sort of Meth lab. Because nothing says “Happy Holidays” like a needle full of Hillbilly Heroin.

So Google, all I want this Christmas is for you to get back on your game. Is that to much to ask for?

~The Office Scribe

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