Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Office Superlatives

As an avid movie fan I am always a bit tickled when it comes to awards season. That is what I am a bit bummed to find out that my favorites might be canceled this year due to the ongoing writers strike.

But don’t get me wrong. I am right there with my pen and pencil brothers and sisters. You keep striking until those nasty producers give you your money.

But as I was saying, I love award ceremonies. A few years back my mom and some friends and I even went and sat in the bleachers at the Golden Globes. I can probably say I am one of the few people who has slept in the Beverly Hills Hilton, the lobby, not in a room.

So it got me to thinking, should we have an awards show here in my office? Something along the line of “The Dundies” on the TV show The Office?

Of course we always have an employee of the year. That goes without saying. And I think someone each month gets a special parking spot but I don’t know how they get it or where the parking spot is actually located. For all I know it is across the highway and on the top of a parking deck.

Actually, the more I think about it the awards here would be pretty depressing. I don’t think we’d be allowed to award such things as: “Ugliest Shoes”, “Lowest Neckline”, or “Loud Pee-er”. I mean, let’s face it, no one is interested in the nice awards. Who cares if someone wins “Cleanest Desk”? We all want to know who would win “Spends Too Much Time In Bosses Office”.

What do you think? I know a lot of you who read this work in an office. What would you nominate your co-workers for? Leave me a comment. It’s up to you to make me smile this time on this rough day!

The Office Scribe


The Black-Coffee Drinker said...

I nominate my co-worker for "Most Prolific Excuse-Maker". This guy started working full-time instead of part-time on November 1 and he has been on time exactly twice. And every time he's late, he has a different excuse! Every time he comes up with a new one, I want to suggest to him to write a book along the lines of "101 Excuses for Dummies", but I'm afraid he would think I'm not taking him seriously. But his talents could be put to such good use! Think of all those poor workers or students out there wishing that they could come up with a plausible excuse as to why they were late! I also enjoy how he falls asleep sitting at his desk after he's late. The heavy breathing really turns me on.

David said...

I would win "Most Time walking Back-and-Forth to the Bathroom" because I drink about a gallon of water at work everyday. But that's neither here nor there.

What I wanted to say is that though you may be the only person to sleep in the Beverly Hills Hilton, you're not the only person in Beverly Hills to sleep in a Hilton (DOUBLE ENTRDE!!!!!). That is all.

Holly Brennan said...

I would definitely be nominating my co-worker for "most time spent on personal calls" or perhaps, "most family arguments while at work." It's rather absurd how some people feel that they have the right to be able to argue (loudly, I might add) with their family over some of the most trivial things. So yes....I proudly nominate my coworker for this most anticipated award....

Anonymous said...

I would nominate my co-worker for "Longest Discussions About Medical Procedures" - We really don't care to hear how your wife had to help your daughter with her constipation. Really!