Manic Monday #4

I really hope the people who design clip art don’t fancy themselves artists because 90% of it looks like it was made by a pre-schooler who drew it with the crayon still stuck up his nose.

Guess what? If you highlight everything on a page nothing stands out anymore. The only thing you have drawn my attention to is the fact that you use a purple highlighter, the most obnoxious highlighter color of all.

It is my personal belief that bathrooms should be a no-talking zone. You know why I am in there and it isn’t to talk about your grandchildren.

I wonder how many paperclips are thrown away each year because of people like me who take the clop off a stack of papers, place it on the desk, then realize an hour later that they have straightened the whole thing or shaped it into their initials in a fit of boredom.

Yes, I am wearing footwear that violates dress code policy. And no, I didn’t do it on purpose. This is what happens when I come into work after a long weekend at my lake house. You should all just be grateful I remembered pants.

Overheard in the office – “I need your nose” – Possibly had to do with a perfume sample but I can’t safely make that assumption.

The Terra Cotta Warrior I bought this past weekend might for my desk is bad-assed. But he is still not king of the chachkes. That honor belongs to Jim Thome Bobblehead because he is awesome and carries his own bat.