Monday, May 4, 2009

Manic Monday #3

So I guess I haven’t blogged in exactly one week. And it’s not for lack of anything to write about. That is the wonderful thing about working in an office; you are always supplied with blog fodder. Truth be told I haven’t written because I was really busy at work for the three days I was here last week before I skedaddled for my mom’s place for an extended weekend. Hopefully this week will provide some much needed workplace entertainment.

And now onto the randomness:

I think Microsoft Office might have the Swine Flu. I mean, I know computers can get viruses and that viruses can jump from species to species, but the real question is, can my computer get a human disease. Perhaps I need to contact John Connor and ask him about this.

I can not see the name Edward without thinking about that God forsaken Twilight book and equally craptastic movie. Thanks for ruining the following things for me Stephanie Meyer:
- Edward Scissorhands
- Edward James Almos
- Prince Edward Island
- Edward Hospital in Naperville, Illinois
- Edward Jones Investments
P.S. If you start to type “Edward” into Google the first thing that pops up is “Cullen”. Eeeeww

About 90% of the e-mails I get from co-workers pertain to lunch. What time are we eating? Does anyone have a plastic fork? Who wants half of my sandwich?

I forgot my glasses at my moms place this weekend. And for about the first 3 hours my eyes were bothering me from looking at the computer. But now things seem to be fine. Which is just confirming my suspicion that my glasses were a placebo and were in fact made from the same stuff as Pella windows.

Okay. We get it. Warm weather wants to make people take their clothes off and this is not an acceptable practice for the office. If multiple memos about dress code policy don’t seem to be working perhaps more drastic action is needed. Like public humiliation. Point out who in the office looks like a hooker and maybe then they will get the message.

~The Office Scribe

And yes, this is my 200th post. Does that mean I get a medal or something?


David said...

My experience with people in the office who are commonly believed to look like hookers are placidly happy with that look and no amount of ridcule will jolt them out of that - primarily because they refuse to believe it.

Anonymous said...

One person's hooker is another person's eye candy...

Anonymous said...

200th post? Didn't anyone tell you? You automatically get a t-shirt with the word "Loser" in the mail. Bwahaha ha ?. Okay, no, really, you get nothing but another dumb ass comment from me. Congratulations.

The Office Scribe said...

Never joke about getting a free t-shirt. I have done some very unwise things during my time on this planet just for a free t-shirt.