Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Jay Z Got 99 Problems But Craig’s List Ain’t One

Ahh, the time honored tradition of taking a nice 30 minute break with your co-workers to eat leftovers from last nights dinner while talking about mind-numbingly inane topics is order to forget what is sitting back at your desk waiting for you.

That’s right, I’m talking lunch.

I have been a part of a lunch group ever since I started with my current company. And I have to say, it’s pretty nice to be sitting at a table with some people instead of awkwardly sitting at my own table wishing I wasn’t eating alone. Remember who those kids were in grammar school? I don’t think much changes for them when they grow up…

Throughout my 2.5+ years of working here I have seen a lot of changes happen with the lunch group. People join and people leave. In the face of the most recent round of economy induced layoffs the two most popular (yes, I know I sound like I am in 4th grade) lunch groups came together and formed some sort of mega-lunch council which takes over half of the lunch room at 1:00 p.m. every day. And I am part of this mega-lunch group.

But something tells me that there might be too many people eating together now. Not only do we need one table, but sometimes two. And while it is awesome that so many people can come together and gossip about others in the company or what happened on “Dancing with the Stars” last night, trying to hear what is happening on the other side of the table can be difficult.

And today I was presented with a perfect example of this which I will present in script format for lack of a better layout…

A group of co-workers sit around two round lunch table that have been pushed together, forming a figure-eight surrounded by chairs. At one end of the table (end A) there is a discussion going on about the CRIAG’S LIST KILLER. I don’t actually remember what was being discussed down at my end of the table (end B.

Co-Worker #1 (End A)
So I heard his fiancé is still in love with him, even though he killed all those people on Craig’s List.

Co-Worker #2 (End B)
Jay Z?

At this point everyone looks at Co-Worker #2 like she is crazy. That is, until we start to reconstruct what happened.

See, it seems that Co-Worker #2 thought she heard that “Beyonce” was still in love with someone even though he was the Craig’s List Killer. And since Beyonce is married to Jay Z, she just assumed that we had found out that Jay Z was the Craig’s List Killer.

This is what happens when the lunch group gets too large to support a normal stream of conversation. But short of holding a Survivor like tribal council to vote people off I think we are stuck with the number we have now.

At least I know we will have some fun conversations in the future.

~The Office Scribe

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