Whenever I hear a cellphone ring in the office and the ringtone is still the one that came with the phone I think, "Wow. That person is really boring. Why would anyone be calling them?"
When the background of your website is so distracting that the simplest text can't be read it's time to take your web designer out into the parking lot and beat him with a section of rubber hose.
Yes, I cut the head off the squeaky pig that everyone in the company got and put it on my Dundy Award from the season 2 DVD boxed set from "The Office". So stop looking at me like I am Charles Manson and go back to your own cubicle.
When I started at my company you could go and grab supplies like pens and pads of paper off a cart by the mail room. But then they realized that people were stealing things for home use so then they made you fill out a form when you needed stuff. Seemed to work. But recently they scrapped that idea to go more "green" and set up some complicated hard to find spreadsheet to fill out whenever you need a pen. That's great. Perhaps I will just stop using supplies at all. I'll go totally green. So when you start to get notes written in my own blood because I can't find a working pen and am too tired to fill out the form you can't complain.
Which brings me to this:
I was a little bored at work today and I was flipping through the office supply catalog and came across some things that I found odd amongst the pens and office furniture. Namely:
- A tape gun shaped like a shark
- Pastel highlighters which I think defeat the purpose of highlighting, which if I am not mistaken is to make things stand out.
- Toe Tags (Okay, they may have been mailing tags but they looked like toe tags)
- A motivational poster that says "TEAMWORK - Many hands, many minds, one goal" with a picture of the Great Wall on it. Um, correct me if I am mistaken, but I believe the Great Wall was built by soldiers, commoners, and prisoners. And if that is what is in your office you may want to search for a new job.
- And the best item - a $300 stethoscope