Monday, May 11, 2009

Manic Monday #4

I really hope the people who design clip art don’t fancy themselves artists because 90% of it looks like it was made by a pre-schooler who drew it with the crayon still stuck up his nose.

Guess what? If you highlight everything on a page nothing stands out anymore. The only thing you have drawn my attention to is the fact that you use a purple highlighter, the most obnoxious highlighter color of all.

It is my personal belief that bathrooms should be a no-talking zone. You know why I am in there and it isn’t to talk about your grandchildren.

I wonder how many paperclips are thrown away each year because of people like me who take the clop off a stack of papers, place it on the desk, then realize an hour later that they have straightened the whole thing or shaped it into their initials in a fit of boredom.

Yes, I am wearing footwear that violates dress code policy. And no, I didn’t do it on purpose. This is what happens when I come into work after a long weekend at my lake house. You should all just be grateful I remembered pants.

Overheard in the office – “I need your nose” – Possibly had to do with a perfume sample but I can’t safely make that assumption.

The Terra Cotta Warrior I bought this past weekend might for my desk is bad-assed. But he is still not king of the chachkes. That honor belongs to Jim Thome Bobblehead because he is awesome and carries his own bat.


Lis said...

You rebel of the dress code. :) It is silly anyways, I can do my job just as well in jeans and tennis shoes as I can in pants and heals.

mustng0sally said...

I don't mind a little chatter in the restroom if you're talking to a person who is physically there.

Cell phone conversations while in a stall are a whole other animal.

dadadadio said...

I disagree with your lavatory vow of silence. I consider it a challenge to make people laugh in a public restroom. Think about it.

No one wants to be there. They're all self conscious, no eye contact, focused on their potty business. The last thing they expect is a wise crack from a stranger.

If I can get one guy to pee on himself because I made him laugh at the urinal, I've had a productive day.