Friday, May 15, 2009

Coked Out Of My Mind

You hear stories of the 1980's where preppy businessmen in $1000 suits would be doing bumps of coke off of boardroom tables just before a big presentation, in order to get that extra step up needed to be their best.

Well this isn't the 1980's anymore and for the three years I have worked in an office I have never seen an ounce of Booger Sugar anywhere nor has anyone offered me a toot.  So I think I can safely assume that the drug of choice in my office isn't imported in the abdomens of drug mules from Colombia.

Nor do I even think the drug of choice is cigarettes.  Out of the approximately 150 employees that work with me I think I can only name about 7-10 that I see smoking outside on a regular basis.

So what does the normal office worker do to put that bounce in their step?

Chug copious amounts of caffeine until the computer screen blurs into a collage of colors, thus making the spreadsheets just that much more interesting to look at.  

My personal "drug" of choice?

Coffee before noon followed by Diet Coke.  On Friday's I start the day off with a Venti Quad non Fat Latte.  

Oh yeah, when I come home I crash on my couch like I just ran a marathon.  Who knew working in an office could be so exhausting?

~ The Office Scribe

1 comment:

Willson Rodriguez said...

Dude you hit the nail right on the head. No yayo in the office. We had a food day once at my place of employment and some asshole brought a huge baggie full of Equal or some other no calorie sweetner. I thought it would be funny to make a comment like "I get first dibs" What I did get were crickets and people staring at me like I was a druggie.