Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Stalking Co-Workers Via Magazines

Sometimes I think people are a bit paranoid around here. You see two people huddled together in a cubicle in hushed conversation which halts every time someone walks by. Co-workers promptly delete e-mails they fear others reading. And then there are the ones that cut their addresses off the cover of the magazines they bring in and leave in the lunch room.

I didn’t really notice this until I had a few minutes to kill as I was waiting for a fresh pot of coffee to brew the other morning. Wandering around the lunch room I read all the posters for half-off tickets to the circus and a menu for a Mardis Gras dinner being held at a local restaurant. Then I started to flip through the stack of magazines next to the microwaves and I noticed that the lower right hand portion of many magazines were missing.

It is super nice that you want to bring in a magazine for your co-workers to read at lunch after you are done with it, but why cut the address label off? If I really wanted to know where you lived all I would have to do would be to shoot an e-mail off to HR and ask for your address under the guise of sending you a birthday card or something utterly ridiculous like that. Or, I could log into our computer system and pull up your profile which not only has your home address but your emergency contact and medical information.

Why don’t I? Because there is no one that I work with that I am that interested in.

But perhaps these people aren’t afraid of stalkers. No, perhaps they are just ashamed that they pay to have Entertainment Weekly or Seventeen delivered to their house. It is a dirty little secret they have which they get some sort of perverse pleasure out of seeing people reading these magazines.

If that’s the case, I work with a bunch of sickos.

~The Office Scribe

Side Note: The department tape gun is still MIA so today we received our new one. It is bright orange and blue (go Bears!) and I am pretty sure no one else in the company has one like this. As soon as I pick some chain up from Home Depot I will put it out for the world to see. And then those suckers who took the first one are going to need a blow torch to steal this one.

Bring it on tape gun thieves, bring it on*.



*This is not an invitation to those of you whom I work with who read this blog to come and steal the tape gun as some sort of office prank. Unless I find it encased in Jell-O I will not be amused.

1 comment:

David said...

I live in a modest-sized coop building where everyone pretty much knows each other. I find magazines in the laundry room with the addresses cut off. Duh, we know where you live already and it's not like they are obscene publications that one need be embarrassed to have a subscription.

Go figure.