Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Under The Desk With The Office Scribe – An Interview With Travis From “I Like To Fish”

It can be said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  It can also be said that imitation is what occurs when an individual runs out of original ideas and needs some assistance.  That being said, I have decided to start occasionally interviewing fellow bloggers for 3 reasons:

1)   I want to know more about the people behind the words that keep me laughing.
2)   It is a great way to promote funny blogs
3)   I will do anything short of murder and prostitution to promote my own blog. 

My first victim is Travis from I Like To Fish.  I’d like to say that I chose Travis because I thought he was the most interesting person I read so why not start at the top.  Truth is, he was the first person to reply to my desperate plea via Twitter for an interview subject.

So here are my questions and the answers as provided by Travis. (And I did not edit these at all.  I am a creative writer but I don't like it when reporters modify answers.  If you don't like the answers why did you ask the questions?)

I recently found out that we have the same ring tone for our cell phones.  What else do you think we have in common?

Probably our bra sizes. I mean, I have pretty big boobs. I don’t know about you, though. Either way, that’s what I’m going with. Bra sizes or our love for Chicago style deep dish pizza. 

What dead actor would play you in a 5 minute YouTube video about your life?

Chris Farley without a doubt. And I’m not just saying that because he’s fat. He was funny as hell, and he was…well, he was fat. Yeah.

What the biggest one that ever got away?

Are we talking a fish or a woman? If it’s a fish, then it’d be about a 35 pound spoonbill that I tried to reel in on 10 pound test line. I got it to the bank, it flicked its tail, I lost a valuable lure. If it’s a woman, I’ll tell you this. They aren’t too big to get away from ol’ Travy. I mean, back in the day. Now, I’m married, and for sure, I’m not giving The Missus this link. 

Sometimes when I read your blog I want to ask your wife “why?”.  So, could you do me a favor and ask her “why?”?

This is the conversation via text that took place after I read this question.

Me: Do you have time to talk?
The Missus: A little. Why?
Me: Well, I’m doing an interview for a blog, and the following question was asked.
TM: Why I married you?
Me: Hell, I don’t know. Just why.
TM: Well, I was 16 and everyone told me to stay away from that Travis kid, so I listened…for a while. Then it got to a point I could no longer ignore him because he wouldn’t go away. I quickly learned that under all of the stupid things, he was a really great guy with a big heart, no, not enlarged. It took a while, but there is a whole lot more to him than just the silly stuff you guys hear about.

This is why I love my wife, and that’s real.

I want to quote Andy Bernard here. “Any success I have had, either in life or with the ladies, has come from my ability to slowly and painfully wear someone down.”

Have you ever fallen pray to an infomercial?  And if so, what did you purchase?

SIGH. It was a golf club. Shit was supposed to correct my swing. That was about 10 years ago, and I still shoot a 95. It didn’t work at all. So guess what? I never paid for it. I think I actually paid half, and then ignored the letters and the calls. Surely the statute of limitations has passed by now…

What is your favorite bodily function?

Erections. Without a doubt. Need I say more? 

You live in a small town.  I don’t.  What is the best/worst thing about living in a small town?

The best thing is that you can get to a convenience store in less than a minute from anywhere in town. This comes in handy on beer runs and midnight snack getting. I guess this could explain my weight problem. The worst thing is that everyone knows you. A lot of people would think this is cool, but it’s not. I am known in my hometown as “That guy who blogs.” However, if you asked most of them to tell you what blogging was, they couldn’t do it. It’s ridiculous. People are afraid to talk to me, because, “I might wind up on that internet thing.” Idiots. 

Do you quasi sexually harass everyone you follow on Twitter?

Yes I do. Most of the time I don’t mean to, but my poor brain is so sexually charged all the time, some of it is bound to spill over onto my hot Twitter bitches. Wait. I just did it again, didn’t I. Dammit. 

You recently wrote a post about Lady Gaga possibly being a dude.  You did some thorough research to come to the conclusion you did.  Would you be willing to do this same amount of work to answer the same question about Jamie Lee Curtiss?

I would absolutely take another one for the team on Jamie. I might have to get into this personally with her though, because Kid Funk told me she is actually a hermie. I didn’t see a shell on her though, and she seems kind of big for a hermie. I mean, aren’t they normally on sand somewhere in a “smoking accessory” shop with peace signs painted on their shells? Wait. That’s a hermit crab. Sorry about that. Anyway, you send me pictures of her bidness, I’ll tell you what I find. Oh, and send lotion with the pictures. 


What was the last thing you shot?

It was a blackbird. We went rabbit hunting a few weeks ago, and didn’t see any rabbits. Well, when you get 4 grown men out in a field with guns expecting to shoot something, and nothing presents itself, something has to die. This bird was in the wrong place at the wrong time. My buddies also shot a field mouse with a 12 gauge. And I may have taken a pot shot at a red-tailed hawk. 

Have you ever worked in a cubicle?

I did for 20 minutes one time. I can’t admit anything because of ongoing charges being pressed, but we’ll say this, I didn’t go well. I hate cubicles. I’m like that weird guy on Office Space. I just start acting crazy and burn shit down. Wait. Damn. I’ve said too much already.

As a thank you to Travis, he gets to be the first person on the planet to have this, the coveted (?) Under The Desk With The Office Scribe badge!



~ The Office Scribe

* Want to be interviewed in the future?  Drop me a line and we'll chat.


The Office Scribe said...

And no, I have no idea why the spacing is once again fucked.

Just, deal with it. Alcohol helps.

A Vapid Blonde said...

Great interview...oh and I am not above prostitution for my blog.


Also the bra size thing...AWESOME DUDE!

The Office Scribe said...

AVP - You are next on my list for one reason, and one reason only.

You bought me a virtual bacon farm.


shopgirl101 said...

Great interview! I'll have to check out his blog.

Jo said...

Neat! I never thought of interviews. It was funny. I understand his hate for small-town-ness. I just posted something like that on my own blog too.

Stupid small towns....

Ed Adams said...

Travis is such an interview and publicity whore.

That's just another reason I'm secretly mancrushing on him.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

Feh, I've had the spacing problem too. My husband bitches, and I'm like, hey, I posted, which you also bitch at me to do, get over my long paragraphs.


thanks so much for interviewing Travis; I found my way to his soap commercial this weekend and meant to follow him and the cat walked on the computer and my coffee cup was empty and whatever and whatever and I didn't so...now I have.

Good God, I need more coffee.

Travis said...

You have given me followers.

I love you now, and that's unfortunate.

I tend to crush things I love.

Ask my wife.

Geez, I've gotta clean it up around here.

Anyway, I grabbed your button (heh) even though you were a slight smartass about it.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Travis is the BOMB! And he is super sweet under the sarcasm. Love him! So, now since you interviewed him, I am going to follow you, because I haven't even ever heard of you and well, I like to stalk new peeps and scare them a bit.

Mae Rae said...

great post. I love travis, he is so funny at that internet thing.

carissajaded said...

Great interview!! I expected much more perversion, but I am happy to have learned so much about Travis!!

Kimi@SoManyKids... said...

Nothing like a Travis interview to make my morning all bright and sunshiny

Sally-Sal said...

Travis, I'm going to have to go hunting with you and your boys. :)

Bombshell BLISS said...

Travis is so funny not matter what the venue. Does that make me one of his "whores"? Wait....it's too early to be leaving a comment.

I'll have to follow you now because any friend of Travs is a friend of mine. Wait....crap.

Daffy said...

You need a black box finder or something...get yourself on the GPS devices of Blognation...HOW could we not have known about you?

TravyG, BIG T, is Da Man...fo sho! Great interview!

I'm a little bit sad I don't Twitter or FB...but still good stuff

singedwingangel said...

Ok I had never heard of you either, but I like ya.. as a small town Kentucky briar patch girl you may ormay not appreciate that lol. And no I will not explain why they call us KY girl Briar patch ones lol..and I bet i beat ya both in bra size and were I still preggo with number 2 ya wouldn't even be in the race. I woulda made ya feel like the girl in junior high gym who was pretty sure someone lied about he sex cause she had less chest then the juior high boys lol.

That One Mom said...

So very funny. Travy G is my homeboy! Great interview!

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

I'm following on Twitter now...but just so you know....I'm nobody's ho! *stink eye at Travis*

For clarification....Travis is our bitch....

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

Ok- Love Travis and now love you too! Man boobs?!? Tell him to get a "bro" from Seinfeld days. :)

adrienzgirl said...

Yep...TravyG is my bitch! So are you now!

justsomethoughts... said...

excellent stuff

travy rocks

and i'm surprised ou allowed him under the desk with you

that stuff about his wife upped his cred a mile

Alex said...

That's how my husband got me...just wear them down until they feel sorry for you...

wheels209 said...

Hi Office Scribe and Travis,
Great interview and questions. Travis you had me rolling on the floor with laughter my friend. Research into Jamie Lee, well that is a vast improvement over Lady GaGa. I see more knuckle children in your future grasshopper. Go forth and multiply.

Take care guys

Travis said...

For sure, I have the greatest and most loyal followers on the planet.

I also won't deny that I am totally their bitch.

Seriously, thank you guys for showing up. Means a lot!

The Office Scribe said...

I should basically just interview people all the time. I would have the craziest follower list EVER!

Pat said...

Hey - that was a great interview! Questions inquiring minds wanted answers to!

Pretty funny!

A Vapid Blonde said...

SWEET....bacon is a good bribe!

Tracie said...

I'm a huge fan of Travy (and of The Office) so I'll be stalking, er, following you from now on.