Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Pump Up The Jam

6 days into 2010 and the office printers have already decided that enough is enough.  Or perhaps they have adopted a green policy.  Either way, they are not happy and are doing everything in their mechanical power to stop is from printing the documents we need in order to do out jobs.

Did they anthropomorphize al la Transformers or Terminator? I WISH! I would totally put up with never having the ability to print again if Optimus Prime was a few cubicles away, trying to convince clients that any destination in that throaty voice that even Barry White envied.


Where was I going with this? Oh, right. Printers who hate humanity.

Three different printers today happened to have severe paper jams just as I was walking by. I would see co-workers gathered around like the curious spectators at a cock fight and my natural curiosity would force me to stop doing whatever I was doing and ask, "What's wrong?"

Unfortunately, by me stopping and asking this small query, my co-workers assume that I am the only person in the company who can fix it. Now I don't work in IT. I usually fix things that have gone wrong with electronics by turning them off and on until they work again. I am a button pusher. But I can also read. And these new fangled printing do-dads actually tell you where the paper jams are located, how to open the side panels (which are labeled) and how to remove the piece of paper. So yeah, I can unjam a printer.

Where's my Nobel prize for science?

~ The Office Scribe

P.S. - I apologize for the wacky spacing on this post. I guess I should stop smack talking technolog because this is clearly proof that it hates me.


A Vapid Blonde said...

There is no hate...its mercury being retrograde...all things go wacky. Especially the computer types of things! January 15th it should all get better!

Jo said...

The shredder where I work has a note on it that paper will not shred itself. I didn't get it at first, but they office workers left a bag of stuff asking me to shred it. What it means is that you have to pull the shredded papers down yourself or it will cause a huge knot of paper in the "jaws". Guess how I found this out?

Ed Adams said...

For a minute there, I thought I was reading a version of your post that had been printed on one of those Devil printers.

The Office Scribe said...

Yeah, Ed, I have no idea what happened. Like the blonde said, something is in Gatorade or whatever.

shopgirl101 said...

The printer in our backroom is VERY old and jams up at least three times a day. I would to reenact that scene from "Office Space" on it.

Travis said...

Ed always beats me to the obvious stuff, and it makes me sad sometimes.

Either way, I bet you're still up watchin Heroes.


Anonymous said...

other thing that came up in the past was that we didn't "fan" the paper and loosen it up before we put it into the drawer, if not,,,then pandemonium broke loose with snags and tears....