An Office Full of the Non-Dead

Before you start to get a mental picture of zombies stumbling around copies, slowly spinning in their desk chairs and eating the brains of workers from other departments, let me remind you that zombies are the UN-Dead, not the Non-Dead.

Before you start to get a mental picture of zombies stumbling around copies, slowly spinning in their desk chairs and eating the brains of workers from other departments, let me remind you that zombies are the UN-Dead, not the Non-Dead.

Non-Dead is a reference to all the people in my office who didn’t die on the job this year. And you know how many that is? ALL OF US. And there is even proof.

I was walking out of the lunch room yesterday and saw a piece of paper randomly tacked up on one of the bulletin boards. Because I am curious and read every piece of paper that I see (you never know when that information might save your life) I took a gander at what it had to say. It was the annual OSHA report stating that not only had no one been injured on the job but also that no one in my office died in a work related injury in 2008.

So congratulations to all my co-workers for not getting a severe paper cut and bleeding out. Or accidently being crushed by the copier that tipped over when you were looking for that mysterious paper jam. Or not freaking out when they took our casual Fridays away twice this year and enacting revenge with a spray of bullets.

Here’s to hoping 2009 is just as injury and death free!

~The Office Scribe