Answers To Reader Submitted FAQ's - Round One

Well gentle readers, you asked and here are my answers.

Travis asked, "How many bites can you eat an 89 cent chicken burrito from Taco Bell in?"

Because I am committed to this blog and my readers, I actually went to a Taco Bell and bought an 89 cent chicken burrito.  And I did this sober.  Taco Bell and White Castle are two places I never purchase food from without any alcohol in me.  So you should be really impressed.

And the answer is 4.

Ed Adams asked a series of questions, such as, "What exactly is under your desk?  A pillow and blanket?  A cot?  Just hard linoleum?  Some rough indoor/outdoor office carpet?"

Good questions!  There is nothing comfortable under my desk.  I did not pimp it out or anything because, sadly, I think if I tried to sleep under there someone would notice.  But that doesn't mean there isn't anything under the desk.  Aside from a garbage can and recycling bin, there is a large empty popcorn tin, another garbage can turned over that I prop my feet up on, and a pair of moose hide moccasins I wear in the winter when I change out of my snow boots.

Oooh, and Ed had another question.  "How long does it take you to fall asleep?"

My father used to say my grandfather fell asleep before he even got his second shoe off at night.  My father was the same way.  Genetics would have you think I am similar to both of them, but that couldn't be further from the truth.  It can take me anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours to fall asleep at night.  When I was a kid, my parents would send me to bed but since I wouldn't sleep I would just pretend my bed was the wagon from Oregon Trail and my stuffed animals were passengers.  So yeah, I have been making stuff up since I was really little.

Paul Blanchard asked, "If a seven-foot cockroach asks me the way to Ipswich, should I tell him?"

If you run into a giant talking cockroach and aren't in a scene from the movie "Beetlejuice" you tell that SOB anything he wants to know.

Anonymous asks, "What is your favorite beverage on trivia night?"

Easiest question asked thus far.  I am partial to Black and Tans, which, for those of you who don't know,  is half Guinness and half Harp (or Bass, depending on the bar).  It is delicious and makes for a tasty beverage.

GS had the most questions to ask which means they are stalking me.  Question #1 was "Salad dressing on the side or in the salad?  Or no salad at all?

I love salads, though I am of the belief that the best ones are made by other people.  So I always eat a salad when I have the chance.  And I also like salad dressing ON the salad.  I think people who get the dressing on the side are trying to trick themselves into believing it is healthier, which as we all know, is a crock.

Question #2 "Deserted island items.  Pick 5, no food or beverages"

1) My Eddie Bauer edition Swiss Army Knife
2) A featherbed
3) The two directors chairs I got for my college graduation which read "Novelist" and "Screenwriter"
4) Case of Leinie's Red
5) My Darth Maul double-sided light saber which I carried everyday junior year of high school

Question #3 - A series of favorites

Movie:  I can't pick one.  But some of my favorites are The Shawshank Redemption, A Christmas Story, Silence of the Lambs, Ghostbusters, Twister, Die Hard, and a variety of others.  NetFlix is my friend.

Singer/Group:  The Who.  My mom made me watch Tommy when I was 4 and I have been a fan ever since.  And really screwed up.  Who shows that movie to a 4 year old???

Song: I am partial to "Where is My Mind" by The Pixies, "Letters From The Sky" by Civil Twilight, and "Don't Stop Belivin'" by Journey

Book:  Devil in the White City by Erik Larson

And finally, Wes asked, "What do working in an office and being a butcher have in common?"

The both have coffee pots.

This was fun.  I'll make sure we do this again sometime!

~ The Office Scribe