Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Sugar and Salt Diet

Who says there are four food groups?  In my office these days there only seems to be two things that a person needs to survive:  Sugar and salt.

Sugar is mainly consumed in the following forms:

- Candy from the candy shoebox on my desk
- Mountain Dew 
- Candy from the giant bag in HR
- Cupcakes
- Candy from front desk
- Birthday cookies
 
I have seen more Tootsie Rolls eaten in the past month than in the previous 27 years of my life.

Salt is mainly consumed in the following forms:

- Pretzels from the container from Menards (seriously - the best pretzels in the world)
- Fritos
- Potato Chips
- Morton Salt Pellets for your water softener
- Barnyard Salt licks

The greatest invention we have found is the chocolate covered pretzel or salted carmels.

Why this strange diet?

It is what is eaten when people are too busy to take a proper lunch, have headaches due to the weather, and have to answer illogical questions.

When we have a coronary/diabetic attack no one should be surprised.

~ The Office Scribe

Don't like this diet?  I accept salads by mail.

9 comments:

The Jaded Voice said...

Most people at my job eat their lunch from the candy dish at the front desk. As I said in my post the other day, our receptionist is going to blow that thing up sooner or later.

GS said...

Cool diet, I wouldn´t complain. I hope you guys have a good dental insurance though.

The Office Scribe said...

I plan on letting my teeth rot because I mean, soon the government will pay for all our medical expenses just like the British, and I mean, they have....

Oh crap. My grill is going to look like Prince Charles', isn't it?

Chris said...

The best thing ever invented is kettle corn. I'm not sure if it's a PA thing or if everyone has it, but it's salty and sweet and is DEEEElicious. You don't need other food if you have that!!

Real Chick said...

Too funny. Thought it was only my office. To raise money for the local 5k Walk for Wellness we had a brownie bake off.

unfinishedrambler said...

Does it actually help with those weather headaches? If so, I'm sooo going to have try that diet. Sounds really good to me.

SiteInsights said...

I'm afraid any diet devoid of caffeine is simply unacceptable...

CeciliaRose said...

I don't drink coffee in the morning, I just have a can of mountain dew. lol =)

The Office Scribe said...

The diet isn't devoid of caffeine. What do you think MtnDew is? Though I heard they are making a caffeine free version - why? No Clue.