Thursday, August 20, 2009

Dear Life, Please Don't End While I'm At Work

I don't have many fears in life.  It's not that I am overly brave.  It's more like I just don't care enough to be bothered.  Why freak out about a spider on the ceiling when one good whack with a flip flop can take of it?  

So aside from candy corn and down escalators my only real fear is of tornados.  I guess it call all be traced back to when I was 7 or 8 and freaked out during a tornado because I saw garbage cans blowing about like that stupid bag from American Beauty.  Or perhaps it has something to do with people turning into witches and midgets with candy.  Who knows.

Lately in Chicago we have been having some wacky weather.  The other night some tornados swept thought the midwest and just hearing about it gave me the chills.  I haven't had to head into the bathroom (the only room in my apartment sans windows) quite yet but last year the tornado sirens shagged us out of the office and into the basement at the office.  

There is nothing quite like being in the basement of an office building with 150 of your co-workers when there is impending doom.  I mean, as much as I adore my co-workers I don't really want to spend my last moments on earth with them before our ugly pink office building crashes down upon us.

There are places I would rather spend my last minutes.  Such as on a roller coaster (they said that last drop was a doosy!) or perhaps in the arms of Alexander Skarsgard (did you see True Blood last Sunday?).

Maybe I should just relax and fret over the most common dangers in the office - manilla envelope paper cuts and getting hit in the face by the bathroom door.

~ The Office Scribe

3 comments:

M said...

Believe me I understand. My fear is of elevators. No, not for a lack of air or of the chance that I would plummet to my death. The fear is of being stuck in an elevator. People have mocked my fear but the funny thing is that even those have some sort of fear of their own.

The Jaded Voice said...

I have been hit in the face with the bathroom door, received SEVERAL envelope AND folder cuts, and I've been stuck in the elevator... it was only for a few minutes, but still I thought that was the end.

Dang, I need a new job!

jenniedelaney said...

"Maybe I should just relax and fret over the most common dangers in the office - manilla envelope paper cuts and getting hit in the face by the bathroom door." LOVE it. Thanks for making me smile.