Apologies all around. The was supposed to go up on Tuesday, but between a long day at work and the need to get to trivia and finally start drinking again, it didn't. And then between sketchy internet service and having dinner with my Gram it also didn't happen yesterday. But I am sober, hungry, was bored at work, and once again have a connection to the outside world, so this shit is getting posted now.
My second guest who agreed to come Under The Desk with me is Unfinished Person. When I met him, he was going by Unfinished Rambler but he has been changing his name, double posting on Twitter, and generally making me confused as hell. But all of that aside, I am a fan so I asked him some questions. Which he was kind enough to answer...
1) Have you ever worked in a cubicle?
Yes. When I was an intern at a newspaper. Unfortunately, I was right by the door to the room with all the other cubicles so I couldn't masturbate like I would have liked to have done, if I had been hidden in the back somewhere.
Editor's note: I am completely freaked out to walk into the cubicles of the people who are hidden in corners. Thanks UP!
2) You seem to have somewhat of a split personality (something I have noticed on Twitter). Do you have any other mental conditions I should know about?
I don't just have two personalities. I actually have 27.
3) I notice that you read a lot. What is your favorite book that doesn't contain illustrations or a "turn to page..." scenario at the bottom of each page.
A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
4) I gave up liquor for Lent. You gave up candy. What is the hardest thing you have ever given up because of God?
5) Do you have scented candles in your bathroom?
Um, no. I am a heterosexual male and even though my wife is a heterosexual female, I don't allow that in our bathroom. We don't need it anyway, because my shit smells like roses. Really.
6) We met because of the now defunct Humor-Blogs.com which means we both think we are funny. Do you have a favorite humorist?
7) There is a lot of information about you on your blog. What is a secret you are willing to share, here, for the first time?
I am 5-foot-7.
8) Does that little smiley face on your blog mean anything?
Well, even though I recently received a fortune cookie recently that said, "You are a happy man," that's not what it means. What is really means is that WordPress.com likes to put shit (and it's not rose scented either, those bastards) on my blog that I can't figure out how to take off, and by the time I figure it out, I'll be gone to WordPress.org. True story: See designer Chris Pearson's answers about 20 comments down on this post:
Editor's note: That link may, or may not, bring you to a NSFW website. I am afraid to click on it so I am no help.
9) Coke or Pepsi?
Pepsi is the answer I give when family is around because my late grandfather worked for Pepsi and most of the time, that's true except on nights like tonight (when I'm answering these questions) when I'm drinking Crown Royal and Coke or other nights not like tonight when I'm drinking Captain and Coke.
Editor's Note: I read "Crown Royal" as "Royal Crown" and spent 5 minutes trying to figure out why someone would mix two colas together...
Oh, and for the record, these answers are from Unfinished Rambler. Unfinished Person is too much of a pussy to tell it like it is; I'm not.
Well said my friend, well said....
~ The Office Scribe
* Feel like you have what it takes to venture under the desk with my extra pair of shoes and a petrified Cheetoh? Drop me an e-mail or find me on Twitter.
"If it's not your butt, don't touch it"
1 month ago