Friday, April 2, 2010

And That's Why Sobriety Pisses Off Jesus

Though I was raised Catholic, and attended a (prestigious) Catholic high school, I am in on way religious.  Well, I guess I am a little spiritual.  For the sake of labels, I guess you would call me an agnostic.  You know, there is some higher power, I just don't know what it is.

So during this holiest of holy times, I don't generally do anything special.  If I am with my mom on a Friday I will abstain from meat but otherwise I am my normal self (case in point - it's good Friday and I ate a pork chop for dinner).

But for some strange reason this year, I decided to partake in the age old tradition of giving something up for Lent.  When I was a kid it was generally something like TV or candy.  In high school, while working at  butcher shop, I gave up meat (boss was not happy).  This year, I decided, because I like a challenge, to give up alcohol.

Yeah, that's right.  40 days sans the hooch.  I should say, that I am not a heavy drinker anyways, but I am a social enough person that not having a beer at trivia or a cocktail at happy hour was a challenge.  Or when I have weeks like last week where I couldn't go home and drown my sorrows in a nice Pinot Noir.  That was really rough.  Of course, I was teased by friends and coworkers who thought I would break down and drink.

As it turns out, once I make a commitment, I stick to it.  Over the course of 40 days I only had three drinks (1 glass of champagne for the Oscars - which is a religious holiday to me, and 2 Black & Tans the night before St. Patrick's Day - because my ancestors would haunt me otherwise.)

Aside from saving a good chunk of change (rough guestimate $200.00) I thought that if there was a higher power, they would be pretty impressed with my commitment.

Turns out, I was wrong.


See, Good Friday at my company is what they call a half-staff day.  That means you can take the day off without sacrificing a vacation day, or work and earn an additional day off.  I always work Good Friday because I want to be able to take a day off when the weather is nice.  And Good Friday is generally a crappy day in Chicago.  I have memories of days with flurries and hurricane force winds.

This year however, it is a balmy 78 degrees and sunny as a day at the beach.  The grass is a brilliant shade of green.  Daffodils have pushed themselves up and are in full bloom.  Golf courses and parks are loaded with people enjoying the weather.

And where was I today?

In my cubicle, with a handful of other co-workers, having completed all my tasks within the first 30 minutes of being at work because no other company was open today.  My company is international, with offices all over the world.  I think every other branch was closed today in honor of Easter, including countries with a minimal Christian population.

The only conclusion I can come to is that God was not pleased with me giving up alcohol for lent.  I mean, he serves wine with all his meals, who knew it was a sin to pass?

~ The Office Scribe


Momma Fargo said...

LOL. Funny! Happy Easter!

Ed said...

He never said DON'T partake.

Just don't be a DRUNKARD.

The Office Scribe said...

Where in the Bible does he say that? And if that was the case, why did he turn the water into wine? A responsible person would have made the guests chug the water to hydrate and sober their asses up.

bluzdude said...

That's what I was going to say... He turned water into wine, not Gatorade.

Another non-religious person here, but still, it's hard to shake the early training. (in my case, 4 years of Catholic school.)

I may not give things up for Lent any more, but still, having fish on Friday just seems right. Maybe it's because I like fish...

GS said...

Well done Office Scribe!

This year for the first time in my 26 years I decided to give up something... and boy did I go in full force! I gave up soda, candy and junk food... I guess I don't have to say it's been THE LONGEST 40 days ever and I can't wait for tomorrow... but it was good, I mean I proved myself I can do it when I thought I wasn't going to last a week at it...but never again!

Unfinished Rambler said...

I think it's that God doesn't want you to sacrifice that one thing, but to sacrifice even more...this is just a test to see how much you are willing to sacrifice. ;)

Pat said...

Love your sense of humor. Maybe you should have given up something like, um, milk or oj. Yeah, that would be better!

Are you in a suburb of Chicago or IN Chicago? I grew up in Schiller Park and lived in Bensenville and Algonquin. Now we just travel all over in our RV.

dadadadio said...

You are defintely Catholic. You gave up drinking for lent but managed to justify a few cocktails.

I'm a recovering Catholic. I have no conflict. I'm atheist..... and I drink.

The Office Scribe said...

I started drinking at 12:01 a.m. this morning since Lent was over. I had three shots, a beer and a gin & tonic within 2 hours. 40 days ago, this wouldn't have phased me. This morning, I passed out like a 15 year old who scammed some Bartles & James.

I might need to spend the next 40 days improving my tolerance.

Nine Mile said...

Too funny. Maybe he was just sore about the oscars. You know, the little golden gods you raised a glass for? Just sayin'.
Happy Easter!

The Office Scribe said...

Oh crap Nine, you are probably right.

Why didn't I think of that?