One of the things I am known at for work is my ability to translate e-mails from Spanish into English. So I was really thrown for a loop today when a one sentence reply my co-worker received from South America made no sense. I must have read it about 20 times. I thought maybe I was losing my mind. Or my foray back into drinking had killed my Spanish brain cells. But it was neither. Turns out it was just Portuguese. Silly, silly Portuguese.
Do you know why Google was invented? So that when you start to discuss wacky dreams with people at work you can find out what their dreams mean. And then judge them.
I know. I was digging through the trash today in the lunch room. So what? Stop looking at me like that and go back to reading the random copies of Daily Variety someone has started leaving by the microwaves and enjoy that Lean Cuisine.
When holidays fall on Sundays, instead of giving people Friday's off, maybe we should be closed on Monday. That way, we have an additional day to recover from the sugar coma we have slipped into because of peanut butter eggs. (Or scars from the Peep wars.)
At about 1:20 p.m. today the internet went out. Normally I wouldn't mind, but it was opening day for the Chicago White Sox and I had to know how they were doing so I could compare it to how the Cubs were doing. Luckily, the internet came back about 10 minutes later. Moral of the story? Sox won 6-0 and the Cubs lost 16-5. To parody the Black Eyed Peas - This years going to be a good year. (Check back in October for confirmation of this theory.)
Question pondered at work today: If you accidently kill your spouse in a freak sex accident, can you still collect the life insurance?
~ The Office Scribe
Sunburns, hang ups, and paper mouths
2 months ago