I would like to address the rumors that have been circulating since my last post. I feel that I need to clear the air so that we can all continue living our lives and being the best people we can be.
#1) I HAVE BEEN FIRED SO I HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT
I am still happily employed. While I have taken a few days off to work at another, highly important job for a few days (a garage sale is a job, right?) there is no truth to the rumor that I was let go for spray painting the inside of my cubbilce with gang signs in anciect Sumarian.
I am quite a multi-tasker. It was even a nickname given to me at my last job (the one before I became a cubicle monkey). So don't think that I can't write a 140 character status update AND a super creative, slightly humorous blog post on the same day. I can also chew gum and walk at the same time. Unless it is Double Bubble - then I am screwed.
#3) I WAS HIT IN THE HEAD AND FORGOT ABOUT THE BLOG
While it's tue I was hit in the head, it was not by a heavy object. It was by bird shit on my mom's deck, the third time this has happened to me this summer, and I was forced to spend a lengthy period of time in the shower washing, rinsing, and repeating.
If anyone else has any other rumors they would like me to address, please leave them in the comment section and I would be more than happy to do so.
And I promise there will be a Manic Monday post this coming week - unless I get hammered at the wine festival tomorrow and take a header off Starved Rock into the river, recreating the dramatic demise of a group of Native Americans. But what are the chances of that happening? (No, seriously, does anyone know?)
~ The Office Scribe
Sunburns, hang ups, and paper mouths
2 months ago