What kind of omen is it when you find a spider in your shower in the morning? Yesterday I was mid-shampoo when a black fuzz caught my eye on the other side of the tub - and then I realized the fuzz was crawling. Spiders don't actually bother me that much, but the idea of taking my eye off it and then suddenly finding it inching up my leg was not too appealing. I decided that squishing the spider would ruin my hygienic cleansing experience, and my best bet was to wash it down the drain.
I gingerly rise up on my tiptoes and attempt to redirect the relatively stationary shower head towards the back of the tub. I'm having trouble, and for a minute think maybe the Europeans have it right with their detachable shower heads, but then I recollect my many unintentional floodings of European bathrooms.
I finally manage to hit Spidey with the water, and, as if in slow motion, it begins floating towards the drain - and my toes. My careful adjustments of the shower head to redirect the spider's path seem very much as if I have arrived at The Dalles and decided to caulk my wagon and float it down the river to Oregon. [Your wagon has hit a rock. You lost: 30 bullets, 2 sets of clothing, Jimmy (drowned.)] But I triumph! The spider vanishes down the drain with my toes intact and untouched. I say a brief prayer for the repose of the spider's soul and in regret that I have killed one of God's creatures, and start wondering what else this day has in store for me.
- Friend of The Office Scribe
Nice Oregon Trail reference! Makes me want to wear my "You have died of dysentery" t-shirt!
~The Office Scribe