Monday, October 12, 2009

Manic Monday - Columbus Day Edition

While listening to the radio this morning the announcer said that traffic was light due to so many people taking Columbus Day off.  Um, I don't know about you, but I don't know anyone who took Columbus Day off.  You know the real reason the roads were clear?  Soccer moms who can't drive because they are gabbing on their cell phones but still insist on driving their "precious cargo" to school weren't on the roads.  Said "precious cargo" that should be taking the bus to school but don't because their parents are wimps.  Believe me, riding the bus builds character.  The kind of character that will save you from getting shanked in the prison yard one day.

In honor of Columbus Day I had an authentic meal.  Of tacos.  Because, um, tacos are from Latin America which is where Columbus first landed, spreading disease and plague that make Swine Flu look like a case of the sniffles.  (Is it too soon to joke about conquistador germ warfare? No?  I didn't think so.)

A good way to celebrate Columbus Day is to have a movie-marathon of Columbus movies, such as:
- Adventures in Babysitting
- Home Alone
- Mrs. Doubtfire
- The Goonies
- Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone
- Gremlins
Wait.  What do you mean that's the wrong Christopher Columbus?  School kids don't get a day off a year for the writer/director/producer?  Damnit!

It always makes me mad because there is really nothing left to find in the world.  Man has practically been everywhere.  But that doesn't mean we can't "discover" stuff about day to day life, such as:

- There is no such word as oldery, no matter how many times you use it in a sentence

- Pheromones are released when people add chocolate to my candy dish which makes the herds come a-runnin'

- Low odor dry erase markers still pack enough punch to make me woozy after lunch.

Happy Columbus Day Y'All!

~ The Office Scribe

3 comments:

The Jaded Voice said...

The good 'ol candy dish... I'm trying to see if my post on Office Candy Dish Etiquette can become published like one of those OSHA posters LOL dry erase markers smell like rotten pickles... Long live the Sharpie!!

The Office Scribe said...

Rotten pickles? First off, how do you know what they smell like? And secondly, I don't think they can rot. I know for a fact that I have a jar in the fridge from the year I was born and I am pretty damn sure they are as fresh as they day they were jarred.

carissajaded said...

Hahahah. I also decided to celebrate Chris= Columbus the movie guy tonight, and watched Gremlins!! ...since I didn't have the day off!