Manic Monday - Columbus Day Edition

While listening to the radio this morning the announcer said that traffic was light due to so many people taking Columbus Day off.  Um, I don't know about you, but I don't know anyone who took Columbus Day off.  You know the real reason the roads were clear?  Soccer moms who can't drive because they are gabbing on their cell phones but still insist on driving their "precious cargo" to school weren't on the roads.  Said "precious cargo" that should be taking the bus to school but don't because their parents are wimps.  Believe me, riding the bus builds character.  The kind of character that will save you from getting shanked in the prison yard one day.

In honor of Columbus Day I had an authentic meal.  Of tacos.  Because, um, tacos are from Latin America which is where Columbus first landed, spreading disease and plague that make Swine Flu look like a case of the sniffles.  (Is it too soon to joke about conquistador germ warfare? No?  I didn't think so.)

A good way to celebrate Columbus Day is to have a movie-marathon of Columbus movies, such as:

- Adventures in Babysitting

- Home Alone

- Mrs. Doubtfire

- The Goonies

- Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone

- Gremlins

Wait.  What do you mean that's the wrong Christopher Columbus?  School kids don't get a day off a year for the writer/director/producer?  Damnit!

It always makes me mad because there is really nothing left to find in the world.  Man has practically been everywhere.  But that doesn't mean we can't "discover" stuff about day to day life, such as:

- There is no such word as oldery, no matter how many times you use it in a sentence

- Pheromones are released when people add chocolate to my candy dish which makes the herds come a-runnin'

- Low odor dry erase markers still pack enough punch to make me woozy after lunch.

Happy Columbus Day Y'All!

~ The Office Scribe