And On The Third Day...

Hi all!  That's right, I'm back. Did you all miss me?  I bet you did.  I really wanted to keep you updated while I was on my travels, but I wasn't going to pay for Wi-Fi in the hotels.  I mean, I love you guys, but not at 30 shekels an hour...

Anywho.... I'll be updating later with some insights from my travels, but not now.  Why?  Because I am suffering from some massive jet lag and I have no idea what time zone I am currently in.  (Okay, it's Central - shut up.)

~ The Office Scribe

Manic Monday #46

Thank god the vending machine has Pop Tarts (frosted strawberry - my fav) since I have no food in my house.  But the strange looks I received from my coworkers while heating it weren't cool.  Come on people, who says it has to be heated in a toaster and not in a microwave?  Maybe I like my fruit filing to be scalding!

I don't care if I am in the office for half a day tomorrow - I put my out of office on my phone and e-mail today. Protocol be damned!

It was snowing when I left for work this morning.  Sometime throughout the day it turned to rain. When this happens in Chicago, it means the roads become skating rinks?  Need an example?  I saw a Yukon do a 180 spin while going down the ramp of the parking deck. Thank god it didn't hit anyone because, you know, I was tired and really wanted to get home.  Oh yeah, and because car accidents are um, bad.

At the register, with a line of people behind you, is not the time nor place to argue about how the ugly blue eye shadow you are buying should be 10 cents less.  You don't want your obituary to read how an angry mob beat you down with gallons of milk and road salt bags because you have poor taste in make up and are cheap.

If anyone in my office ever decides to go postal, I am putting big money on it being a printer related rampage.

Thanks to everyone who stayed home today and made my commute decent. I'll return the favor by going on a business trip out of the country for the next week. Yayyyyyy!

P.S. - Stop talking about the Bears/Packers playoff game.  Why?  Because something tells me I won't be able to get the game in the middle of the night in Israel.  Boo.

~ The Office Scribe

*** Hopefully I'll be able to tweet or post during my travels because I know you guys would miss my random words of wisdom if you didn't hear from me for a whole week.

Time To Rent "Passion of the Christ"...

Why?

Because I'm going to Israel.

I'l pause while the jealousy sets in.

Wait, you're note jealous?

Well you should be, because ladies and gentlemen, this isn't for a vacation.  This is a...

WORK TRIP!!!

Yep, and I leave in 2 weeks so there isn't much time to prepare.  I've already downloaded the Bible onto my Kindle and keep saying "Shalom" to everyone, but I am looking for suggestions as how to prepare.  I expect comments.  Lots and lots of comments.

And ye be warned - if I think the comments are offensive, I'll delete them.  Then I will mock you openly as being a horrible person.  Why?  Because this is my blog and I can do what I want!

~ The Office Scribe

Manic Monday - The "Happy 2011" Edition

Nothing like coming back to work after the holidays and seeing the parking lot once again filled with cars.  Did kind of make me wonder where the hell 90% of these people were.

Tomorrow is my annual evaluation. I hate these things.  I assume if I were doing a poor job someone would have told me, or you know, fired me.

If you are always looking for a delicious snack might I suggest strawberry yogurt and almonds?

I love recapping the holidays with coworkers and finding out that everyone basically had a chill New Years because everyone was too tired to really whoop it up.  Proof that New Years Eve needs to be moved further away from Christmas to give those of us who don't save our vacations days until the end of the year some down time.

There is a rumor of a Biggest Loser style competition going down in my office this year.  And while one of my goals is to drop a few pounds, nothing inspires me like some good healthy competition and the lure of cold cash.  I'll keep you posted.

~ The Office Scribe