Monday, August 29, 2011

Manic Monday #58

In a complete act of rebellious brought on by people who leave half an inch of coffee in the pot on days when I start late, I poured the dregs of the double strength stuff in the regular pot and thinned it with a little hot water.  Then I made myself a fresh pot.  

No, I will not open my Passive Aggressive Notes 2012 calendar for two reasons: (1) It's August of 2011 and (2) because you keep asking.

I had a teacher in junior high who was obsessed with highlighters.  And it's him that I blame for not having one or two colors of highlighters at my desk now, but six.  

I will never admit that I don't have the answer.  I'll just make one up that sounds so convincing that you'll believe me.

As far as I can tell from reading the employee handbook, there are no dress code restrictions about wearing sunglasses at your desk.

You won't be laughing when the ninjas attack and because I always have to face the door in meetings I am the only one who survives because I dove under the table before the kung fu fighting began.

Beyonce's unborn child hijacked all the water-cooler chat today.  And from the sound of it, all reporting on E!, Access Hollywood, Twitter and the VMA's themselves.

~ The Office Scribe

Monday, August 22, 2011

Manic Monday #57

It's official - I am obsessed with closing partially opened file cabinets.  To the point that I will go out of my way to close them in other departments.  Is this a clinical condition?

My pens are all dying at work.  Sure, I could put in an order for some new ones from the mail room, but I am such a pen snob that I can't use them.  I have to have fancy ones.  A trip to Office Depot may be in order after work tomorrow.

A four hours old-watered down Starbucks latte is still better than the freshly brewed decaf stuff at work.

Ahhhh!  Coworkers!  Stop talking about True Blood!  I was at my mom's last night and she doesn't haven HBO. (So I am watching it On Demand as I type this right now.)

The candy dish at my desk has only had about 6 jawbreakers in it for the past 4 weeks.  When is Halloween?  I need people to drop off candy that they don't want around their house because they are afraid they'll eat it for the candy dish so they can eat it at work.

~ The Office Scribe

Monday, August 15, 2011

Manic Monday #56

Just because there is a quarter of an inch of coffee in the bottom of the pot doesn't mean you shouldn't make a another cup.  The coffee gods will understand if you dump that out and make a fresh pot (for those of us who start at 10 on Mondays).

CSI : Office Edition - Did you know that if you have to dust for fingerprints that dumping the shavings tray from the electric pencil sharpener out on the counter works really well?

I really hope people don't pay much attention to the decorations on cupcake liners because my VP is getting her birthday cupcakes baked in Halloween ones.  

Work days would generally start out much better if a theme song played as I entered the office.

~ The Office Scribe

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Hurt Feelings Report

One of my coworkers gave this to me today, after he said he was going to file a formal complaint with the company because I was picking on him. (And yes, this is probably the reason why I was a Runner Up for EOTY and not the winner...)

I hope you can read it - because it actually made me giggle.  I think if you click it and let your computer do the work it will allow you to see it.  I don't know; technology confuses me.

It's obviously from the army, but it also works perfectly for those of us who spend our days being passive aggressive (and sometimes just plain aggressive) within the confines of a cubicle.

~ The Office Scribe

Monday, August 1, 2011

Manic Monday #55

You may have heard, and yes, it's true - I was a runner up for Employee of the Year this year at my company.  No joke.  And while I am a dedicated employee, I am pretty sure the votes came in because of my mad baking skills.

Speaking of baking skills, see what I made for my cousins birthday tomorrow?

Yeah, that's Van Gogh's Starry Night as a cupcake cake.  And yes, she is going to be 2.  What two year old doesn't like a trippy frosting copy of a painting done by a guy who cut off his ear?

They lowered out cubicle walls at work this weekend.  It was done to make people feel like they were more of a team.  I think it was done so my coworkers can hear me talking to myself.  Which happens a lot.  What can I say?  I was an only child.

~ The Office Scribe